Tailchaser's Song: Chapters 4 and 5

Continuing the exciting saga of a kitten who is going to go wander in the woods for a while!

Tailchaser wakes up and immediately regrets his crazy oath. Fortunately for the story, Thinbone arrives and wishes him luck and kind of shames him into leaving, even though he really wants to go play Bob-Tag with the other kittens! Thinbone says that he is jealous of Tailchaser but totally isn't going to go with him. In a moment of obvious foreshadowing, Thinbone asks if Pouncequick, the kitten who looked up to Tailchaser, had come to see him yet. Tailchaser says no, but that he must be off, and Thinbone walks with him to the edge of the field.

Tailchaser bids Thinbone farewell and heads into the woods. All of 50 paces in he feels like the loneliest cat in the world. Poor little guy! He continues into the woods but is set upon by... rocks? He's pelted by nuts! They strike his head and legs and back and he is off like a shot, unable to see where his attackers are located. In a panic, he rushes into a bramble patch only to discover there isn't any solid ground! He sees the bottom of a dry riverbed “a fatal distance below” and manages to hang onto the bramble bush. While holding on for his life, his attackers make their appearance as squirrels, AKA the Rikchikchik! They continue pelting him with rocks and nuts and he asks why they are attacking him. The squirrels answer that he is a murder cat like all cats and is there to hunt them! Fritti answers that isn't the case at all and he's just traveling through their land and won't bother any of them but they won't hear it! A large squirrel comes forward and says that a cat has already taken Mistress Whir, his mate, and they won't let another cat live while she is missing and probably dead! Tailchaser realizes that he is completely boned and thus we get our first side quest as he promises to find and return Mistress Whir so he can travel through the woods!

The Rikchikchik believe him, let him up, and point him in the direction in which the lady squirrel was taken. Fritti heads out and sure enough soon smells another cat. Not wanting to spook him, he announces “Good dancing, hunt-brother!” The other cat turns out to be Stretchslow! With a terrified but alive squirrel under his paws! Stretchslow is glad to see young Tailchaser and says he was looking for him. But first, time to eat a squirrel! Fritti cries out for him to stop, completely blowing Stretchslow's mind. Fritti tells him that he has made a promise to save the squirrel for the squirrels. Stretchslow cannot freaking believe it, but let's the lady squirrel go since “Master Tailchaser” asked him to. She quickly runs off and QUEST COMPLETE!

Stretchslow remarks that it's really weird to let a fat tasty squirrel go, but he has no time for talking about that! He then promptly goes into cryptic Yoda mode and says that weird things are happening in the woods, not least of all a cat making deals with some delicious squirrels, and the he thinks Tailchaser has a role to play in all of it. He asks Tailchaser if he has had his Initiation to the Hunt which Fritti totally left before he was going to get his. So Stretchslow gives him the short version in a really bad poem! He touches his paw to Fritti's forehead, and bids him good hunting. THEN VANISHES no he just wanders off, silly kitty.

Chapter 5

Fritti returns to the squirrels and is taken up a tree by them. As he climbs from branch to branch, he struggles to deal with his balance as he gets higher and higher and the branches get thinner and thinner. Seems he is going to meet Lord Snap, leader of this squirrel band. Fritti eventually is at the top of a tree on a branch he can barely stand on and then Lord Snap is in a nearby tree out of jumping distance. Fritti then realizes this and clearly spells out what the reader had already realized two pages earlier. GOOD WRITING TECHNIQUE. Lord Snap thanks Fritti for saving Mistress Whir and says it is a strange cat that helps a Rikchikchik. Fritti asks if they saw the other cats who left to go find the Court of Harar and it turns out they went through the woods. Tailchaser then learns something to say to summon the help of any squirrel companions if he needs help which is to yell “Mrikkarrikarek-Snap” which he can't really pronounce but they get him to say it close enough eventually. Fritti renews his promise not to eat any squirrels while he is in the woods and leaves. As he leaves, he realizes he just needs to meet the King of the Birds and the King of the Field Mice and then he can just starve to death, which I admit made me chuckle.

The night, Tailchaser is hungry but not at all blind since he's a cat and they have sweet night vision. He then spends a great deal of time hunting a shrew that I'm not going to go into nearly as much detail as the book does. After 4 overly descriptive pages, he catches and eats one. Good job, Tailchaser! He thinks back to Stretchslow's advice then gets tired because he's just a little kitten. While asleep, he dreams of seeing his mother, siblings, Hushpad, Stretchslow, and Thinbone, but he's being chased by a monster! Before he can warn them, he wakes up because of a high pitched barking. He recognizes it as a fox barking and then hears the unhappy mewing of a kitten as well! He finds the fox has trapped a kitten against a tree and that it is none other than Pouncequick and that he's injured! He needs to do something quick to save the kitten and oh the chapter is over. CLIFFHANGER!

Tailchaser's Song: Chapters 2 and 3

The second part of I have no idea how many parts of Tailchaser's Song by Tad Williams

Chapter 2 opens with a flash back into the early life of our hero, Fritti Tailchaser. Fritti was the second youngest kitten in a litter of 5 with 3 boys and 2 girls. His mother, Indez Grassnestle (6) thinks there may be “something special about him, as if he may have a great destiny” and feels this in her whiskers. She reconsiders because it turns out that Fritti is kind of a spaz. His father, Brindleside (meh) was a great Hunter of the Folk but Fritti is too little to ever be a great Hunter. EVER! Remember, these are housecats. Fritti's mom would take the kittens from their home in a pile of rubble in an empty lot to the nearby fields and forest for hunting practice. This is a mental image of kittens playing that I always appreciate. KITTENS ARE ADORABLE. Fritti continues not focusing and his mom thinks he's a goofball cat and not at all as great as she originally thought which I think is pretty damn harsh for a young kitten. But I'm not a cat.

When Fritti and the kittens are three months old, they get to go to the Meeting to get their NEW NAMES at The Ritual. Cats get three names: the heart name that their mother gives them, the face name that all cats may call them by, and the TAIL NAME which is a secret spiritual name not many cats ever find out. This is the point where I realized that the cats are getting the Noble Savage stereotype which is kind of neat but also reaaaallllly generic, but hey, 80's fantasy with cats, so I'm just going to roll with it. VIKINGS KITTIES. Fritti goes before the Elders of his Nose-meet (which again, I love the mental image of a kitten “nose-meeting” other cats) to be given his face name. The Elders, Bristlejaw (7), Snifflick (8), and Earpoint (9) “smell something special” about him and chuckle mysteriously! They then exclaim “he wants his tail name before his face name!” and then name him Tailchaser which, OK, I think that's kind of clever. The newly dubbed Tailchaser is off like a shot because he's a kitten and adorable!

Later, Fritti is playing in a field by himself when up comes a rather fetching young fela named none other than Hushpad! She says she saw him at the Ritual and wanted to get to know him. I'm pretty sure 13 year old me who really wanted a girl to come up and want to get to know him would have really loved this part. They romp and play as only kittens can and talk about lots of stuff. Fritti begins to develop strong feelings for Hushpad that go beyond what normal cats feel for each other and may lead to a “joining” which I guess is cat marriage? Ooooookay.

Tragedy strikes! Fritti returns home one day to find THERE IS NO HOME. His rubble pile is gone and so are his siblings and mother! Honestly, this part made me tear up some because he runs around all scared and not knowing what to do. There are no scents that he can detect and he flees into the woods where he can't catch anything due to his grief and collapses after a few days. No other cats help him because they are cats and dicks. But salvation comes in the form of M'an which I feel is the stupidest damn made up word so far. He is caught and put in a box and nursed back to health where they leave food and water out for him and let him come and go as he pleases. I know I'm supposed to be identifying with the cats but I feel like the people are really irresponsible not fixing him if he's an outdoor cat. This would also ruin the story so NO MORE THINKING.

Fritti find Hushpad and apologizes for freaking out over his family disappearing and she apologizes for not going to console him because she's a cat. We then jump forward to the night before the Meeting in Chapter 1 where Fritti and Hushpad have a date and Fritti sings this weird song about always being together that Hushpad just listens to. They part ways with “an unspoken promise between their commingling whiskers.” Poor Fritti Tailchaser.

Chapter 3:

Jump to back after the meeting in chapter 1! Fritti waks up and proceeds to paw swat a dandelion. Then he remembers that HIS GIRLFRIEND IS MISSING and remembers that he swore to find her. He heads to her dwelling in a M'an nest and thinks that they may have not let her out since they are “capricious.” He approaches the nest... screw it, he approaches the house only to find that it is empty! Fritti can't understand why if the humans left that Hushpad wouldn't still be there which strikes me as incredibly dense even for a 5 month old kitten. He spends three days looking for her before finally giving up and turning to Thinbone for consolation. Thinbone tells him that she's gone and that's that before leaving to go play with other cats. But Fritti won't just forget about it since he's lost his family and birthplace and won't lose his kitty girlfriend too!

He investigates the hedge that he and Hushpad played “Roll-and-Pounce” when he is approached by Slowstretch (10), a mighty Hunter of the Folk. While trying to bob his head respectfully to the bigger cat, Fritti scratches his nose on a branch and mews! SO CUTE! Slowstretch asks him if he is still looking for Squash-pod (which is a pretty hilarious cat name to me) and tell Fritti that he should come to the next meeting of elders and hunters. There have been other disappearances and they will be discussed by committee just like cats normally do!

Flash forward to the Nose-meet: Mudtracker (11 and hilarious) is another cat from a different colony (what?) who is complaining that the mothers aren't fun to be around since kittens have been disappearing! Jerk! Fritti watches the older cats scratch themselves in puzzlement and begins to wonder if talking about the problem isn't enough! A few other cats tell their stories of missing kittens and then Slowstretch says that Tailchaser has something to say. Fritti screws this up as only a kitten can by stuttering in embarrassment and pretends to chew on a flea. The strangely democratic council of cats asks for ideas on how to deal with missing kittens! These are shouted out: “Alert the clans! Post sentries! MOVE AWAY! STOP HAVING KITTENS!” which the last one makes the cat Jumptall (12) also pretend to chew on a flea. Old Snifflick gets things back to business by laying out the problem in a reader friendly manner: 1) An unusually high number of the Folk have gone missing. 2) They have no idea who or what is causing this. 3) The best and wisest of them don't have any idea what is going on. He decrees that they will post guards and also send word to the Court of Harar and THE QUEEN OF CATS!

Shock and awe runs through the crowd of cats! Mudtracker says that no one from the Folk of Behind-Edge-Copse has been there in 20 generations! Which makes me wonder how long a generation is for cats. I mean, for humans it's about the time for a human to reach sexual maturity so about 20 years but what is it for cats? 2 years or so? So 40 years total? Which is guess is still a long time, I'll shut up. But now we have an adventure to bravely go to the court and ask what they should do! How... heroic? It is asked who will go which causes an uproar that makes Earpoint “shoot his claws and wave them around purposefully” which made me cackle while picturing. Snifflick the elder says that he is oldest and will go! His mate Twitchnose (meh) says no, he's an old mouse-gummer and accuses him of wanting to go so he can find some slender young fela! So cats get jealous, I guess. Bristlejaw agrees that Snifflick shouldn't go since it's getting close to winter and that younger cats should go. Earpoint as the youngest Elder is selected leader and Jumptall also goes. Finally, Streamhopper, a three year old hunter, is the third emissary but WHAT ABOUT FRITTI?????

No one knows the way but they have songs that say where the court is. Just to reiterate, they are going to go find the Court of Harar to ask for advice about what they should do. Fritti gets upset that no one cares about Hushpad but him and they won't think to tell the Court that she's missing! He has what I can only think of as “An American Dream” moment where he looks up at the moon and imagines that Hushpad is also looking at that same moon. He then swears to the moon, “By the Tails of the Firstborn, I will find Hushpad, or my spirit will fly my dying body! One or the other!” Tiny furry viking geas oath! Then like a true kitten, Fritti shivers in the cold and we end Chapters 3.

Tailchaser's Song: Introduction and Chapter 1

From Affinity for Absurdity

Tailchaser's Song by Tad Williams:Author Introduction, Introduction, and Chapter 1

Tailchaser's Journey was bought for two reasons: the cover art and the fact that it was in the fantasy and sci-fi section of Powell's City of Books. Steph Walker inspired me to buy it, read it, and summarize what can only be an amazing literary journey. So here we go:

Tailchaser's Song was written by Tad Williams in 1985 with a new edition published in 2000. The book begins with an Author's Introduction which pretty much cemented for me that this book will be 80's fantasy as hell. Tad talks about what he was doing in 1985 and how he came to write the book because he was living with two cats for the first time and decided to “make up their myths and legends” because that is the kind of thing he would do. Tailchaser's Journey was also his first novel he ever wrote. I'm super excited by this. He also wrote a screenplay (A waiter in California writing a screenplay? Shocking!) called “The Sad Machines” which can only be about emo robots. I would watch that movie. He comes across as kind of pretentious since he couldn't believe publishers passed on his epic fantasy story about cats but it ended up being a bestseller so I don't know what to think about that.

The novel is dedicated to Tad's two grandmothers which is really sweet and also one of the cats he lived with while writing the book, Fever the tabby. Oh, I'll also be keeping count of awesome cat names, so that begins now with 1.

The novel begins in earnest! We start with a map because 80's Fantasy since readers required a map to meticulously follow the path the protagonist takes. We also get a weird poem about cats which is mostly the 10 steps cats take before beginning their day, including cleaning themselves. So that's something. Then we get a world creation myth!

The world began when Meerclar Allmother (Odin Allfather's grandmother maybe?!?) who brought forth the Two and is also apparently the sky. The Two are Harar Goldeneye (2) and Fela Skydancer who had many offspring like Climbfast, Wolffriend (traitor cat!), Treesinger, and Brightnail. They also had The Firstborn aka Baldur, Loki, and Not Stupid Thor. I mean Viror Whitewind (3), Grizraz (matazz) Hearteater, and Tangaloor Firefoot (4). I'm beginning to suspect that serious cats have two names while one name cats are cannon fodder, we'll see if this theory holds up.

So in good Viking style, Whitewind is the best, Firefoot is smart and relaxed, and Hearteater is jealous. Hearteater lets loose a monster Demon Hound on the owl people called the Ruhue (which for some reason I really love) and Whitewind kills it only to suffer grievous wounds and die. Firefoot wants nothing to do with being King of the Cats and renounces it to go wandering. Harar Goldeneye loses his mind in grief, rips up forests while looking for Hearteater, then goes into the sky to “chase the bright mouse of the sun across the heavens” which I guess makes him the moon since he is in the “bosom of the Allmother” and can look for Whitewind. Hearteater escapes underground where he pulls a Gollum only to be captured years later when Firefoot falls a tree on top of him. Awesome plan, Firefoot! The sun burns him after years of living underground and escapes by digging back underground where HE REMAINS UNTIL THIS DAY or something. FAST FORWARD TO STORY TIME.

Chapter 1

Did I mention I love 80's fantasy? The first paragraph contains “The Hour of the Unfolding Dark” because saying “it was getting dark” isn't fantastic enough for fantasy talking cats. We are introduced to Fritti Tailchaser (5), hunterchild of the Folk, who is awakened by an unusual tingling of his whiskers. He gets up, grooms himself (JUST LIKE MY CAT, I imagine most readers saying to themselves), then hops down from his roof to go find some breakfast. At this point, I had a realization: these aren't just fantasy cats that have their own world and culture, THESE ARE HOUSECATS that live with people and are going to have an epic fantasy adventure! I'm doubly excited now! Tailchaser goes to find something to eat before he plans on going to the Meeting Wall. His “luck was not dancing” because we suddenly get into my favorite Fantasy Trope of giving common things ridiculous names in a fake language AND calling common things by completely new names! FOR THE SAME THING. Tailchaser spots a Squeaker or a mre'az (Hahahahaha that is totally a cat noise I love it) and his pounce is short letting the mouse since it's a mouse escape. He responds by “biting his paw in embarrassment.”

We then jump forward to Tailchaser licking up the scraps from a bowl on the porch when up comes Thinbone. Only one name which makes me assume he's not important. He greets Tailchaser with “Nre'fa-o” which I guess is Catspeak for “good evening.” My housecat suspicion is confirmed since Thinbone lives in a culvert down the street from Tailchaser and mocks him for eating from the bowl the Big Ones set out for him and asking him if he does tricks like “The Growlers.” Tailchaser responds in cat fashion by attacking him and then both cats clean themselves. I totally see how this book was written by an author who was actively watching two cats interact.

The two cats go to the Meeting since Meerclaw's Eye is shining full and it is time for solitary cats to come together and tell stories. Tailchaser looks for a “fela” named Hushpad and even forgoes a game of “Jump-in-the-air” with some other cats to look for her. He and Hushpad had begun the Dance of Acceptance but they were interrupted the night before! He asks Thinbone for help but before they can start looking it is story time and hot damn do cats love stories, even more than they do trying to find cat ladies!

Bristlejaw, the 11 year old Oel-cir'va or Master Old-singer, tells the tale of Ninebirds, a mighty cat who dared attempt to take up the crown of King of All Cats which had remained unfilled since Firefoot refusing to take up the mantle following Whitewind's death. At the coronation, an elderly cat comes and challenges Ninebirds, reminding him that no cat except Firefoot is the rightful king. Ninebirds challenges the old cat to battle, during which the old cat strips off his fur. During the battle, lo and behold, the old cat has dust coming off of it and reveals that he is Firefoot! He pins the now fur less Ninebirds under a tree root and as punishment for his pride he stretches Ninebirds until his a naked long cat! And all his descendants are naked tall cats as well that walk on two-legs! THAT IS HOW HUMANS CAME INTO EXISTENCE. Cool story, Bristlejaw.  

Next up, Chapter 2!

Gun Bunnies and Work in Progress!

So, it's been a couple months, and admittedly, not much of it has been spent painting. But here's what is done! I'm shooting for "table top" quality for the Gunners and will probably put more detail into Gorten, but at some point I need to learn when to call a model "done" and I'm calling the gun bunnies done.

Gun Bunny #1 AKA "Fore"






Gun Bunny #2 AKA "Aft"







Also, here's my current progress on Gorten. I'm happy with the armor, but still, lots of work needs to be done.

Carnivean and Shredders done!

I have completed my Carnivean and all four shredders! But I suck at taking photos of the little tykes, so here are some pictures. Next is to work on the bases and also start on my Searforge dwarven force!

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

Holy crap 2012 and an update

Hey! So I've been slacking on updating and painting and taking pictures, but it's 2012 and time for new stuff! Admittedly, I have been painting, but it's only been recently that I've been making big progress. So without much ado and courtesy to my new super sweet camera I got for Christmas, here's some test photos of old stuff with some new!

Chaos Marauder Lord

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

NEW OMG It's my carnivean with his blue skin and green scales.

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

And finally, some shelf pics and some dwarfs.

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

From Affinity for Absurdity

So happy new year! I hope to actually try and update at least once or twice a month, but we'll see.

Continuing Warmachine and Hordes

This is going to be a boring "no pictures I painted" post since I forgot to take pictures but wanted to write them up anyways. These are the official Privateer Press paint job photos that I can only aspire to. My newest purchase for my evergrowing Everblight army: Bethayne and Belphagore!



Together they are a very cool pair of models. I hope to upload pictures showing how the beastly Belphagore has two chest pieces that magnetically clip in place to represent when Beth and Bel are joined into one model.

Also, I've decided to build a Rhulic (Dwarf) mercenary force since hey, I love the models, and have purchased Gorten Grundback to lead them.


And also got a Driller and a pair of "Gun Bunnies" to support him.





With any luck, I'll get some assembled pics up soon. Also, I rehosted the Privateer Press photos to not be a jerk and hotlink them, even though this blog gets no traffic.